When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

At first of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final 12 months in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. Right now we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we will do if we’re occupied with a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I feel it’s a really private resolution, however in case you’re any sort of an everyday drinker (which means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the best way you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. In the event you’re not ingesting in the course of the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her e book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of selection for at the very least 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely just isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any thought how shitty you actually really feel while you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It often takes just a few weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there issues/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually is dependent upon what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see in case you may make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or have been you in search of actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you recognize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is actually what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. In the event you spend a whole lot of time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which results in a whole lot of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you may wish to take a step again.

You may not even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply turn out to be a part of your internal chatter. That chatter may sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No arduous alcohol in the course of the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and so on.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The tip days of my ingesting have been full of elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been continuously shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a relentless stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You may simply determine that it’s not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I would not have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra conscious strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when occupied with alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the assumption that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and reasonable, mannequin to make use of with regards to speaking about alcohol is the thought of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t must hit any form of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to determine at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

In the event you’re able to get sincere with the function alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get inquisitive about your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to suppose. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you desire a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we are attempting to proceed. Do you’ve strategies/suggestions for how one can make this a part of my life-style with my ingesting buddies? 

Krysty: You may want to seek out new buddies – haha. However, significantly, if your mates really respect and help you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently making an attempt to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, then you definitely may must rethink who you’re spending time with. It’s good to determine for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – then you definitely may want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to exchange that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober particular person round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit of extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – suppose flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually may go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle outlets are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. In the event you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you may wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this 12 months and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam